Aug 07
OUGHT.
after talking to Ben Siew, i feel that i’ve understood your character more.
there were good points and bad points but i’m okay with it all.
things like “he may not be the best lover, but he makes a good husband and a good father.”
things like guys tend to read between the lines. so the more complicated things get, the more lines they read in between. then they assume the worst possibility and settle on that thought.
also, about telling me things like “you always complain.” its telling me directly about things he don’t like and expects me to change.
I do not know how true these are, but he did mention that it’s hard for me because although i have things i want to say, i’m afraid to voice them out because i’ve been hurt and am afraid of the worst that could happen… and i know that i’ve hurt him countless times~ just know that i’m really sorry for putting you through rough times.
but i know why, it’s because i truly love ray and i know that he feels the same way. its just that perhaps its too much to absorb in 1 squabble.i’m working on it, still am.
out of everything he told me, this one positive statement just made me feel a whole lot better.
“It’s natural for couples to fight. As long as each party knows why they’re fighting - to make the best out of their relationship. Quarreling is a form or a way to show the other party what needs to be done to improve the relationship. A way of communicating with each other, to get used to each other so that in future, both parties can adapt to each other’s needs and stop fighting altogether. No couple can immediately adjust to one another, cos a relationship takes nurturing and effort. They will at least talk, if not quarrel. This will strengthen the bond.”
and ‘hope’ is a fucking dangerous word to use in a relationship.
I believe it works both ways, but i really ought to thank my boyfriend for all the effort he’s put in to make this work. I do not want to see this go to waste. <3
